The XFL is back.
With Vince McMahon’s plans to reboot the controversial professional football league in 2020 — the one that made “He Hate Me” famous in 2001 — we couldn’t help but think of some good fits.
Of course, the league will need star players this time. We’re happy to help McMahon out with a few helpful suggestions that would increase the entertainment value of the league. A lot of these names are over the top. Why? Social media attention. That’s exactly what this league will need to take off and survive this time.
Here are 30 names the XFL should be looking for to max out that entertainment value. They’ll get your attention.
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This might be the most important name on the list if Kaepernick is not playing in the NFL at that point. It would be a direct shot at the NFL and a ratings boon for the upstart league by bringing in the controversial quarterback.
SN managing editor Brad Pinkerton even has the perfect jersey name: “He Love Me.” Who doesn’t want to see two-sport Tebow split between the Mets and a XFL franchise?
Manziel can play in the CFL, but perhaps “Johnny B Good” or simply “Football” will be ready for the XFL. Although, McMahon’s stated DUI disqualification would be problematic.
— Johnny Manziel (@JManziel2) January 25, 2018
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The former first-round quarterback will be 37 years old in 2020. This could be that one last shot at glory.
The hefty former Kentucky quarterback wants in, and he’s already got the perfect name teed up.
— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) January 25, 2018
We’re kidding. Kind of. Favre turns 50 in 2019. Would he think about coming out of retirement one more time?
Vick will be 10 years younger than Favre when he turns 40 in 2020. Can you name a player you’d like to watch more at 40 not named Tom Brady?
Mayfield is the type of player this league will need two years from now. Remember the USFL? They attracted college stars. Mayfield will be two years into the NFL. Poaching college football stars in the 2020 NFL Draft — hello, Tua Tagovailoa — will be important for the XFL reboot’s success.
Williams will be 37 years old in 2020, but he’s worth a shot for McMahon, given Williams’ fleeting career as a pro wrestler.
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The USFL’s biggest star returns. Walker already resurfaced at the College Football Playoff championship game and looked like he could still contribute 10-15 carries. Wouldn’t you like to see if he could do it at 58 years old?
The former first-round pick was one of the biggest busts in NFL history. Could he find new life in the XFL?
Imagine if Owens still isn’t in the Pro Football Hall of Fame by 2020. Would he come to his XFL debut dressed in his own personalized gold jacket?
The former six-time Pro Bowl receiver would be 42 years old in 2010, but he would be the most entertaining receiver on the field.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Of course, “The Rock” might be running for president in 2020.
The Dallas Cowboys defensive lineman was suspended for the 2017 season. It’s impossible to guess where his career will be by then, but this could be an opportunity.
Burfict’s antics often lead to suspensions in the NFL. They would be rewarded in the XFL.
We’ve accepted the fact that Harrison will play forever. Why not do it in the XFL?
Last time we saw Landry, it looked like he ate the Incredible Hulk. Keep lifting, LaRon.
Chris Kluwe and Pat McAfee
The XFL needs outspoken players everywhere, including at punter.
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Can you remember the name of any XFL coach? They’ll need big names with even bigger social media followings. Kiffin fits that always-viral description. Coaches like that need to apply.
Who doesn’t want to see somebody who ran a 9.58 in the 100-meter dash run a fly route?
Can he be an assistant coach or a sideline reporter? We don’t care. Get “Big Baller” out there.
Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton
The Yankees would be fine with letting these former high school football stars play a few snaps, right?
Gregor and Sandor Clegane
Get the Mountain and the Hound from “Game of Thrones” involved in this project. Perhaps the winner of their long-awaited duel.
We’ve wanted “The King” to play wide receiver for the Browns for years. Perhaps he can do the same if Cleveland lands a XFL team.
The former NBA Slam Dunk champion would make an ideal defensive back in the XFL.
‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin
He proved he’s still got it, and we’d like to see him play a little fullback again like in “The Longest Yard.”